More thanks

Thanks (continued) Warning of graphic material below.

Pain.
Pain is an amazing mechanism God gave us to highlight problems in our systems. It is motivating and challenging both as a tool and an obstacle to over come.
While my leg was on fire with infection it pointed out the problems and areas to focus on, but it also formed a wall between me as I was and as I wanted to be. I can distinctly remember four separated areas and flavors of pain in my lower appendage. It felt to me as though a freezing cold steel railroad spike was being driven through my ankle, with a slow pulse of electricity underscoring its aching presence. The second area was an intermittent cord of searing pain felt like a smoldering wire coat hanger climbing up the bones of my calf. The third and most intense of all was the outer layers of skin. From the top my foot to the calf muscles my skin was bright red, hot to the touch, and swollen. Inside it felt like a form fitting clamp had been heated cheery red and branded to me. Lastly, almost as an after thought a small egg of discomfort rested to the inside of my right knee. Tender to bending and movement, both of which I was trying to avoid, it was the most forgettable of the inflictions.
And why am I thankful for this?
It illustrated to me the seriousness of the infection, and it gave me a personal challenge to maintain dignity and grace.
As my closest of friends know I have an incredible tolerance to pain and painkillers. In fact most painkillers do not work on me. Every doctor I meet gives me the same jaundiced eye when I tell them about it, and until they try to work on me they quite frankly think I am lying.
I took it as my challenge to remain pleasant, to remember please and thank you as part of my vocabulary, and to try and call each of my nurses and aides by name. It is Really really difficult smile and say hello when throbbing red hot nerves are crawling like ants all over my leg, and even more so when narcotics have dulled my IQ to that of a carrot.
Even in the aftermath of all this I am still glad for the mechanism of pain.
Ollie
Ollie our tabby shaped poop factory has endeared me again to him. Even though he came to us under dubious circumstances, Ollie has taken to me more than most of our animals. I am hardest on him, and most likely to yell or swat him when he misbehaves (yeah ok so it is a compliment to my cooking when food smells so good the cat tries to steal it from the daughter), or hold him accountable for his behavior. Ollie will sulk for a couple of hours then come back to make up. He has been a constant companion to me, seldom leaving me. He loves the fact that I am prone and still. His number one place to sleep is on my chest (as close to my neck as possible), and the close second is between by knees, in fact on the pillows propping up my knees curled up in a tight ball.
Secondary to that of course is the cuddling and purring. Ollie will jump up to the bed, cautiously walk the edge until he is entrenched in my left arm pit. then nuzzling his face towards mine he begs to have his ears scratched, face rubbed, and spine massaged. A low grade rumbling purr can progress to an all out chain saw like cacophony when cat heaven is achieved.
I am also thankful for Ollie.
More again later, Mike

Thanks and Praise

Mike here for the 2nd chance at adding to the blog. I am afraid I am not the writer that Shawnee had hope for. Having and running the blog is really much more her type of thing.
That said there are a few things I did want to say.

First and foremost thank you.
To All who have helped and prayed and called and sent well wishes, thank you.

As Shawnee mentioned earlier, the medications I am on do make concentration difficult and make me feel short of a normal IQ by about 30 points.

One of the ways I keep trying to focus is list what I am thankful for. So in no particular order this is my list so far.
God I am thankful for:
Ambulances and drivers, Firemen and medics who are congenial no matter how matter how you feel at the moment. Thanks for doctors who make their livelihood's trying to make people better.
Nurses, oh my yes, thanks for nurses. Men and women who deal with the most vile and utterly humiliating parts of human existence, yet smile and reassure you that all will be better. Those angels who arrive bearing painkillers and a glass of water, just as you begin to feel your appendages catch fire. They give empathy and understanding, and can still smile while cleaning up your messes.
Thanks to ministers and chaplains who bring hope even to those who look hopeless. They minister even to the patient whose bleeding liver wont stop because they refuse to stop drinking alcohol.
Thanks in particular for Pastor Dale. By his example I have learned to not be ashamed of showing my faith. Before I met Dale I might not have had the confidence to confront someone whose was belligerent to God. (I will elaborate on this story later).
Thanks for friends and family and for spouses. My wife is amazing. She has stepped up to be my nurse and maid and counselor. She has put down her own fear of IV's to learn how to give me my medications. There is no doubt in my mind that I made a good decision lo those 23 years ago.
More to follow , I have to recharge me and the computer as well...

Day 28

Sorry for the lack of posts. I had hoped Mike would want to continue his messages but the pain medications make it difficult to track much for very long. I'll try to make this quick, even though it's been a while since our last update.

Here's a picture of my dear sweetie (you can see the pain in his eyes)

Mike is still in the hospital bed back on IV antibiotics, prescription pain medications every three hours and leg continually elevated in a attempt to fight and beat this infection and cellulitis. It's the amount of pain the bothers me most for him. As we were getting ready to leave for a follow-up appointment on Thursday, Mike said he was in the worst pain he's had for two weeks and that was before he was up for several hours and transferred from house to van to wheelchair and back, poked and prodded, etc. The doctor ordered an ultrasound because there's a lump on his calf so we also had that trip to make Thursday afternoon, but his leg is clear thankfully.

I say back on IVs because we had finished up on the 23rd but restarted on the 28th at his follow-up because a bright red spot appeared on his leg so the oral antibiotics don't seem to be as effective. We have a couple more days around-the-clock IVs and then we'll know more. His leg still is so horrible looking, with the skin constantly sloughing off and regenerating (which is good) but being replaced with still more deep reddish-purple flesh. I am sharing a photo for anyone who can stand it, but I'll just post a clickable link here so as not to shock anyone unexpectedly. This is after 28 days on antibiotics, and the doc thinks it's doing well!

Overall, we doing fine just weary. Trevor is back from the east coast, so helps me out when he's not working. Tess and Tara are back in their respective college towns, so it's Tatum and me holding down the fort. Tatum has helped me move a pile of firewood and keeps the box inside full, refills her Daddy's water bottle regularly, fetches things from upstairs and tries to cuddle him whenever possible. I think she'll be the most happy when his IV line is finally removed, because that right arm is her snuggle spot!

Mike is keeping up his spirits but really bored. Daytime TV, even satellite, is just horrible; he's seen so many movies, and tries to keep entertained on the computer but the meds affect his reaction time and ability to concentrate/read, too. He does a lot of napping and chats on the phone if someone calls.

My days are full just trying to keep up: this med every four hours, that one every six, IVs four times a day, apply creams morning and night, meals every five hours, dishes, laundry, and just every day living, too. I've been to work twice this week for some catch up and to quickly train a temp, but there's just so much that still needs to be done. And, my dear friend Mary Ann is in the final days of hospice; I wish I could visit her more but she knows I love her and will miss her so much. Then there's the paperwork: it looks like the info I faxed to his work hasn't all arrived so short-term disability hasn't started yet, plus we found out Tri-Met's policy only pays $150 a week so it's really not going to help much. If you know anyone who would be interested in hosting a freezer cooking party or would like to purchase a unique hand-crafted hat, felted bag or prayer blanket, send them my way as I attempt to fill in our funding gap.

Enjoy your weekend!

Friday 28 Dec 2007

Well ! This is my first run at a blog, or journal of any sort. And, as any who know can vouch for, I am not a typist nor particularly gifted in the English language.

The doctor's follow up happened this morning and it was decide to continue my IV antibiotics. The redness, swelling, and the pain continues to present evidence that the infection is still active. I am able to walk a limited amount ( a few steps really) without the walker, and I can sit for a few minutes at a time. Cherished amounts of time since bed rest is really getting on my nerves ( and sore butt). While I feel much better on all fronts. there is still some residual effects from being in the hospital for two weeks.

On that note I have nothing but praise for the staff of Kaiser Sunnyside Hospital. Nearly all went the extra mile in their care of my health. The nurses and aides were phenomenal at anticipating my needs and catering to my conditions and my pains. I was treated with respect and dignity, even in the most embarrassing of situations. Long has it been since any other woman but my wife has seen any form a tan line, much less anything else. And I am quite certain my mother was the last to have to worry about the details of my bathroom visits decades ago. All in all I was measured, poked, prodded,bled and fed, bathed, wiped,rubbed, scrubbed, changed, dressed, undressed, slathered, lathered and pampered by a wonderful set of men and women. Thank you.

In that vain of thought there are many thank you's due from Myself and from my family. My next post will be to try and address all those who have helped and prayed and called.

Merry Christmas!

We have been blessed with the Magic of Christmas -- the miracle that Mike survived his illness and is home, recovering; the kindness of family and friends shown in so many ways; and SNOW ... a wonderful white Christmas for the first time in two decades.

Last Day of IVs

We're on our last few IV treatments of the antibiotics. We start another oral one tomorrow, in addition to the one he's already taking. Giving the drug is not difficult but I'm always concerned something will go wrong. The home infusion team is on-call 24 hours a day, so that makes us feel better.

On an up note, Mike stepped on the scale and has lost 26 pounds in the last two weeks. While this is NOT the way anyone wants to lose weight, hopefully that relatively small amount will help in his overall health.

However, on a more sobering note, I was reading on-line more about Mike's diagnosis and what we're actually fighting. The term the doctor used and I had typed incorrectly is Necrotizing Fasciitis ... also known as "Flesh-Eating Bacteria"! Now, they didn't say that!! WebMD describes it perfectly, exactly what is going on with Mike. Once again, we praise the Lord that he received treatment early on, because the potential was so horrid.

Please keep praying that these antibiotics work. While his redness and rash from the allergic reaction is going away, Mike is still in a lot of pain and can only be up on his feet for about 10 minutes before the pain is so intense that he must elevate it again and medicate. We don't have a follow-up appointment (with a new doctor) until Friday the 28th, so are simply following the course of treatment the hospital recommended and pray that's enough.

Can't think of much else to share. I did manage to find the tree and put that up but so far there are only lights on it, and I'm not sure when the wrapping will get done. However, at the moment I need to attend to the fire, prepare a balanced meal and get ready for the next round of meds.

Wishing you lots of rest and good cheer. Oh, and happy Advent Sunday!
-Shawnee

He's Home!

After lots of delays and waiting, Mike arrived home Friday afternoon! Yeah!!

The day began with a few bumps ... we started off with Frank's truck getting stuck in the mud while trying to retrieve firewood off the back acreage, but he called a friend who understood the miracle of four-wheeling and all was well (but that load is left for later). Frank did bring us wood from somewhere and I SO appreciate him. He also took a look at the furnace and under the house with inconclusive results. =) I do need to get some external foundation vents covered and that may help some with the frosty-house syndrome.

Mike's van continued to sound even worse when I took Tatum to YMCA care/field trip and we had to postpone the brake job when Mike was re-admitted so I ended up taking the Passat at Kathy's urging in order to prevent further damage. He wasn't as comfortable as he could have been, but it was workable.

We almost had a major setback Friday morning when results of an unexpected chest ray revealed that Mike's PICC line had moved out of place, over 5cm! So, it was partially pulled and is now a Mid-Line ... I just know that is okay for short-term usage and also means less risk, so we're fine with that. Praise the Lord for the x-ray ... could have serious consequences.

Once we were ready to be discharged, I had to check out with the cashier - thank you for wonderful insurance! Then, his discharge medication list was a page and one-half long! Family members have to go to the pharmacy on campus and pick-up (pay) for medications before the patient is released. Of course, it was complicated because I did not realize Kaiser had two pharmacies in two different buildings on their campus and I waited over 1/2 hour at the wrong one. Once I was apologized to and re-directed, it still took a little time, more money and then we found out that one was omitted - hence, a second pharmacy run was required last night.

Mike's hospital bed arrived while I was at the hospital picking him up, and Trevor and Teressa took charge of accepting it and setting up his space. They also were the first to greet the visiting nurse and refrigerate Mike's new IV medications because our check-out took hours longer than anticipated. Once we arrived home, we immediately had two hours of consultation and training from the Home Infusion Nurse, followed by a busy evening of medication administration and then I left to get Tatum from a field trip, made that second pharmacy run, trip to the grocery store, dinner and finally sleep.

Mike has seemed to adjust well to being at home with lay-man nursing care. Right now, we're trying to figure out a routine that keeps him happy and healthy. I made an Excel spreadsheet to keep track of all his meds and meals, which has helped me quite a bit today. We've had a second visit from a nurse and it looks like we're doing it right.

Teressa helped me get the van to Les Schwab, and it's ready for pick up after getting new brakes and rotors. We also received a wonderful surprise UPS delivery from the ESD of a huge Honeybaked Ham. Yeah - Christmas dinner is covered, since everyone can pitch in with sides. Thank you, Vicki, and all. My next goal is getting into our storage unit today or tomorrow and finding that darn Christmas tree and decorations. It's just NOT Christmas without a tree! You can't just stack gifts in a pile in front of the fireplace!! So, my "urgent" needs are a silly tree/lights and some wrapping needs done, too, plus a trip to Home Depot for ash bucket, ax and vent covers. As far as gifts, I still need something special for Tatum but I managed to work on a couple of gifts while sitting with Mike, and just have one more critical item to finish for Monday. Add in making balanced meals and snacks, and we've got enough to stay out of trouble I think.

Enjoy your weekend, and thanks for checking in.
-Shawnee